Another powerful argument hooks discusses is one in which she describes how starting from a very young age, boys and girls are constantly being knocked down and told to fit into the tiny boxes of characteristics that are expected of them. hooks points out that the boy is denied his right to show, or even have, any true feelings. To further explain, she uses men in the American culture as an example, and describes how they have been socialized to mistrust the value and power of love. While the girl is taught that the most important thing she can do is change herself and her own feelings, with the hopes of attracting and pleasing everyone else. These unfair expectations lead boys and girls to grow up into men and women who are convinced that lies are the way to go, and no one should be showing their truest feelings to each other. This leads to the paradox hooks points out because in order to have a functional, and healthy loving relationship, honesty is a natural requirement. In bell hooks's own words, "Lies may make people feel better, but they do not help them to know love" (hooks). Another central argument in hooks's All About Love is the way in which it is almost impossible for women to find happiness in what she sees as a brutal culture where men are taught to worry more about sexual satisfaction and performance than actually loving someone. This reality pointed out by hooks, paired with the fact that women focus so strongly on obtaining themselves a partner, leads to most relationships being completely one sided. In this case, the men are emotionally satisfied, and the women are left without any true happiness. hooks points out that despite these evident problems in modern-day love culture, love can be revived, and this is what she is arguing throughout her book.
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